How do you do it?

Eight days until I return to work.

Yes, I know I should not be complaining.  I will have had over 14 weeks of maternity leave...that's amazing and I am so thankful for that, but I am still not ready to go back.  Thank goodness I am not going back full-time.  It's hard enough thinking about spending 16 hours a week away from little Nate.  What I will miss the most are our mornings cuddling and watching "Good morning America."  That is probably my favorite part of the day, even though it is at 6am!

Looking forward to returning to work has made me wonder how I am going to do it all.  I mean I already feel like I am not doing a good enough job being Nate's mom, Austin's wife and a friend to those I care about.  I feel that there are just not enough hours in the day to do all the things I feel I need to and be the woman I think I should be. I've had to stop reading Proverbs 31 because it is so darn depressing!  I've always wanted to be the Proverbs 31 woman, but I am not and trying to be drives me crazy!  (Although someone pointed Prov 31:15 out to me: "...she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls" So she must have had a little help.  I guess that makes me feel a little better).

I feel so inadequate because at the end of the day I look back on all the things that I didn't accomplish.  I feel like I didn't spend enough time with Nate, I didn't make lunch for Austin, I didn't make any Christmas gifts, I didn't go for a run...I didn't even shower!  What makes the feelings of inadequacy worse is the tendency I have to compare myself with others or with an unrealistic standard that I set for myself.  

I compare myself with the women out there who are taking their 3 month old to the library and reading to them, teaching them Latin and sign language (...you know, they say the sooner the better!).  I look at all the ladies that have blogs that I enjoy following (the blogs about living frugally and being a creative, loving, adventurous, homeschooling, bread-baking and Christmas-gift making, freshly showered and good-lookin', strong Christian mother and wife) and feel at once encouraged to try new things and discouraged at how I am not quite measuring up. 

I know it's not beneficial for me to be striving so hard to become the woman--the wife and mother--that I think I should be.  I want to be more focused on becoming the woman God wants me to be for my family and friends.  

And I think that starts with a shower (and maybe some make-up too!).

In other news, the house remains on the market and we are continuing to do open houses (this weekend will make 4 weekends of open houses in a row.  Our house has never been cleaner!).  Before the open house last weekend Austin and I (and little Nate too) spent a day decorating the house for Christmas.  Here are a few pictures of the final product:

...and the stockings are hung... (notice my craft project from last week--the window pane?  Not too bad if I do say so myself!)

Cozy Christmas Corner.  I can't leave my plants out to die, so I have to find room for them (and holiday them up) inside.

And the living room has more of a formal feel with navy blue, burgandy and silver and gold.

Now no post would be complete without a picture of Nate.  This is one that Austin took this morning. 

Showing off his muscles...